Pre-Playoff Power Rankings

By Murphy Kramer
Punters win championships

Coach Murphy Kramer is the head football coach at Plano Horizons High School in Plano, Ohio. His Fighting Broncos have a 16-68 mark in his nine seasons at the helm, including a 1-8 mark last season

1. New England Patriots: Well, who did you think would be number one? This is why I hate writing these damn power rankings. It makes me feel like I should do something wacky to get noticed, like when John Kruk predicts Pittsburgh to go to the NLCS or has a testicle removed.

2. Indianapolis Colts: Peyton's crew has quietly had a very good season, but you don't hear about it. I think the Colts are primed to roll into the playoffs, and that pass defense could cause some problems for the Patriots if they meet again. Also, Bob Sanders makes me wet.

3. Jacksonville Jaguars: Not a single Jag was voted into the Pro Bowl, despite a fantastic season from Jack Del Rio's boys. You heard it here first: the Jags have the best chance to upset the Patriots in the playoffs. New England can be run on, and the Jaguars can run and control the clock, limiting the number of possessions in the game. A shorter game means a smaller sample size, and a better chance for the lesser team to come out on top. Hey, look! Real analysis!

4. Dallas Cowboys: Did anyone else see Wade Phillips' daughter in Charlie Wilson's War? Holy jebus. I wonder if Tony Romo has conquered her as well. Besides, what is Wade going to do about it? Bench him? P.S. Marion Barber makes me wet.

5. Pittsburgh Steelers: I think their defense is as fearsome as Kathy Bates on a chilly day, and in the cold weather of the playoffs, that's going to take them far. Unless the go play in Indianapolis, where they'll get hammered.

6. San Diego Chargers: Tomlinson is rolling again, and ... well, that's about it. Norv Turner is still the coach, and their quarterback still wears Dora the Explorer footy pajamas when he sleeps. I'm not buying the resurgence.

7. Green Bay Packers: I'm very excited for the latest Brett Favre season-ending interception. Let's take bets on when it will come. I say with 4:53 left in the fourth quarter, NFC Championship, to Ken Hamlin.

8. Seattle Seahawks Sure, whatever.

9. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: I like Jeff Garcia just enough to slip them in this spot. They might win a playoff game, but that's probably it. The defense is too old, and so am I. Can I stop at 10? There are a lot of crappy teams in the NFL. (editor's note: Sure, whatever.)

10. Tennessee Titans: I like their defense a lot, and I think the running game is solid. I also think Vince Young will someday win a Super Bowl. As a wide receiver.